So there’s only a bit over a month left until Christmas. Since you’re all most likely lazy twats like myself and wait till the last minute to get the gifts you need to appease the relatives and loved ones you also know you’ll be shit out of luck once you hit up stores on Christmas Eve and all that’s left is an open box of saltines and some pea green socks. So here’s a few things to buy, maybe even for yourself, that still has time to arrive via shipping.

First thing you or your friends need is an FPS gaming vest. That’s right, everytime you get shot in Call of Duty you’ll be feeling it with this vest and will even register locational damage in some cases, such as getting shot in the back. It’s a nice move towards simulated games I just don’t see how this does anything for anyone especially for $169.

As technology moves forward all the niche products start to pop up. Are you happy with your router? Of course you are. But now that you know D-Link makes a gaming router that supposedly puts gaming packets to the front of the pack don’t you want one? Anything to get an edge right. It’s set you back just a hair over $200.

Now that the media war is over and the Blu-Ray is victor you know you’re going to eventually own one. So your choices is over pay for a blu-ray player or buy a PS3, both fail moves. But Sony does have the moderately priced Sony BWU-300S which will play all your movies but also burn blu-ray discs. 50GB in 30 minutes for under $400? Yes please.

I’ve transitioned to laptops and love my new one. Only thing is it’s a gaming lappy and those manage heat much better but still blast hot air out the side. So now my nards won’t need to be microwaved for me to get my game on because I’m buying a Belkin Cushion for a measly $35.

Those ‘in the know’ will be aware of what a Chumby is and it has nothing to do with an erection. A Chumby is a tiny internet machine and for a cheap price. Everyone knows someone out there that would find a Chumby useful and it’s only going to set you back $180.

The age of full blown survelliance is upon us so do your part and start filming everything. You can buy this tiny action cam that’s used for snowboarders and mountain bikers and strap it on your shoulder like a parrot and voila, your own POV show. Imagine your Youtube fame overnight when you film yourself cooking up some mac n’ cheese!! It’ll only set you back $120.

Need some new art on your wall that reminds you of Ht or Lox’s incessant NWO ramblings in IRC? Then Obey’s Hostile Takeover print is the one for you. Comes in a number of colors people won’t think you’re a commie if you tell them it’s about America’s current financial distress. Mind you, the last one sold went for $1500. Maybe just buy the t-shirt. Or if trendy enough, the scarf.

In the new age of Obamanization you have to be aware of your own personal security. And nowadays people are hardcore and even pulling a gun on someone doesn’t have the same effect anymore. You’ve got to bring it hard so howabout some replica hand grenades to scare the shit out of anyone who cramps your style?

If you’re a complete loser then you’re most likely a Trekkie, or someone who wears a manpurse. But there’s a revival in the works with the new movie out soon and now there’s even these hip gloves from Billionaires Boys Club which is run by Pharrell of N.E.R.D. Sorry, Star Trek will never ever be cool even with Sylar as Spock.

So there’s a few ideas to get you going and hopefully you don’t get ripped off, maybe hit up ThinkGeek for more ideas for cheap stocking stuffers. But the only way this works is if you share your findings by posting up what you think would make good gift ideas for people in the forums in this thread. If you don’t contribute I’ll climb down your chimney, roll you off your bed as you sleep and shit on your nice new pillow.

So I was down in Kansas last weekend bored out of my tree. There’s nothing to do whatsoever! So I wandered around and came across Leavenworth penitentiary and paid for a tour. As I walked around looking at the inmates I noticed that former NFL great Michael Vick was currently incarcerated here. So I went back to the administary office and booked a media visit to see if he’d accept it, saying I was the webmaster of savemichaelvick.com and that I needed to talk to him about his petition. The next day I found out that he agreed and I got to interview him. Here’s the transcript.

Mad: Thanks for taking time out of your busy inmate raping schedule.
Mike: No problem, I’ve got nothin’ but time. Especially since your site is the only one to show any support to me.

Mad: Well even though we think it’s ludicrous you’d get this much negative flack it’s not like we endorse what you actually did. As a dog owner I do think you need to be punished for torturing defenseless animals.
Mike: Defenseless animals? It’s not like I just scored 5 touchdowns on the Lions. These dogs were bred for fighting, it’s in their blood to conquer. All I did was facilitate that I didn’t make them do anything.

Mad: Well regardless, how have you handled all of the negative feedback?
Mike: What can ya do…if the public needed someone to nail to the cross while they sit there torturing lobsters in boiling water, testing products on baby mice and thinning out the pet population ‘humanely’ then whatever that’s on their conscience. I’m no killer…actually I can’t say that anymore. Prison isn’t a friendly place.

Mad: Whoah. So going from making $15 million in 2006 to 12 cents an hour here in prison isn’t agreeing with you?
Mike: Oh I make more than 12 cents an hour. It’s more like 25 cents now, I’m a baller and I’ll always be earnin’. My main income is from playing Madden in the common room. Mofos don’t have a clue how to stop me when I use the Falcons. That Matt Ryan kid is pretty good…in the video game that is. If I was out he’d be my back-up right now.

Mad: Well in the past you’ve been quite frivolous with your riches and you’ve paid the price. Your houses and farms are all gone, your 2 yachts were repossessed, youre entire army of cars is depleted, you paid $60k for a race horse that died and you’re making 25 cents an hour now? How do you even live with yourself?
Mike: Man just knowing I’ll be out soon and able to get back into the NFL keeps me going.

Mad: Uhh what…you’re going to make a comeback? Have you been staying in shape? Playing prison ball?
Mike: Well the season just started in here and my cellmater..err, agent is still looking at offers. Plus too many of the queers play just for the contact. And yes I will be back in the NFL. All there is to do is work out here and I’ve already been contacted by the 9ers, Lions and one other team I’d rather not mention…

Mad: Oh c’mon man it’s not like anyone reads my site. It’ll be between just you me and 4 other dudes.
Mike: Ok well it’s the Titans. They’ve said they think I am less of a risk than Vince Young.

Mad: Right on man, but it’s going to be a tough ride back to the big show. Let’s not forget you have a career 75 QB rating and fumble the ball once every 10 rushes. Maybe when you return you should change your name officially to Ron Mexico so no one even notices it’s you.
Mike: Nah, Ron Mexico has a worse rep than I do right now. Motherfuckers need to say out of my business!

Mad: When you get out do you plan to get back your dogs?
Mike: Nah, last I heard they were being pimped out to sell wine or some shit. Oh like that’s so much better. That’s the same as callin’ the kettle a fuckin’ n*gger…wait how does that phrase go?

Mad: Well Mike, thanks for this and I’ll let you know as soon as we get our millionth signature on your petition and we’ll get you out of here and back to fumbling with balls on the field and not in your cell.
Mike: Yeah man, good lookin’ out. Say hi to my bro while you’re here would ya?

There’s way too many games to play out right now.

The Left 4 Dead demo for both 360 and PC is now out and it’s a pretty impressive game. Waves of zombies comin’ at you in a 4 player co-op setting will make sure lots of ammo is spewed to down the brain eaters. While it may not have a very long shelf life once everything has been done co-op games are a blast with the right people. I’ve played the 360 demo but expect most to get it through Steam for PC if you’re looking for people to play with.

Then you’ve got Gears of War 2 which is more of the same wickedness on the 360. One of the best multi shooters out there just got better with new weapons, new monsters and new maps. Some other nice tweaks make this one a must buy. Through in my favorite new addition, Horde Mode, where you battle waves of insane monsters much like L4D with 4 other buddies and you’ve got a ton of time to spend on this one.

As well, Far Cry 2 is doing well and has sold a million copies thanks to their map editor, Fable 2 doing well with more to come and a bunch of other games doing or rated well like LittleBigPlanet, Saints Row 2, COD World at War, Resistance 2 and NHL ’09. You can’t forget about WoW either with Wrath of the Lich King out today and our current flavor Warhammer where you can get your PvP fix with all of us.

As a game designer there’s only one game designer out there I can’t stand.

Cliffy B.

The dudes arrogance after the first Gears of War came out was out of control and he quickly showed what the epitome of douchery is. This time around he’s now Epic’s Design Director a very enviable position but the best part about it is his douchery isn’t on a grand scale anymore. Instead we get weird shit like how he owns a Tubgirl faceplate for his 360.

As someone who will freely admit to being afraid of heights…

This video blows my mind. Read more »

For any of you gamers who own a Wii I’m sure you’ve learned by now it’s nothing more than a novelty item for when people are over. The games don’t have much substance and are overpriced to boot and there is hundreds of shit games already out for the system. Well, nothings going to change with that as Wii games are continued to be developed by complete dumbasses but I know many of the #Hostile faithful will be jazzed to see that the immortal Bob Ross lives on in his own painting game.

If you’re anything like me you lie awake at night wondering who the hottest 100 MILFs out there are. After carefully ranking all of them you then doze off content that you’ve accomplished your goal. Beats counting sheep.

Everyone loves an epic thread.

This one is guaranteed to culminate into one.

Let the rumour mill begin! With the Left 4 Dead demo now out there was a small easter egg uncovered. It seems that there’s some TF2 stuff in the game and someone with too much time on their hands has deciphered that the information displays 10 TF2 classes. That’d mean that Valve has another one coming sometime soon. Once the full game is released we may find out more but for now think of this as a rumour as adding another class could begin to unravel the already unstable balancing act of the 9 classes.

Today it’s just a hodge podge of pure linkage. So get to clickin’ or else!

• This girl got kicked off the Pats cheerleading squad for drawing pp’s.
• As a hockey fan I like the Blackhawks but I wasn’t aware they kill women!
• Oh poor Rihanna, she faints on stage and somehow her song keeps playing!
• What happens when a snake tries to eat a kangaroo? It gets full.
• Some drunk chick poops on a convenience store floor.
• Everyone agrees, Louis C.K. is fuckin’ funny.
• Whoah, this happened near where I live! Stalker time…
• Heidi Klum gets risky and hocks Guitar Hero.
• High school football may suck but this play was epic.
• I never really thought Kate Winslett was that hot. Until now.
• For those that didn’t know Michael Crighton died. He was eaten by dinosaurs.
• I know you want that new Wii cheerleader game, let’s see a real cheerleader play it.
• Smoking is still sexy..cock smoking, not so much.
• Saved by the Bell the unrated version.
• What would happen if they re-made Night Court?
• Another 10 reasons why Tony Romo must break up with Jessitard.
• Let’s take a look at the Father of the Year Awards.
• The only reason the CFL still exists, funny TD celebrations.
• A collection of the best movie lines…from someone who likes Adam Sandler alot.
• Palin fever may be over but the SNL rap will live forever.
• 44 reasons to join the Israeli Army.
• Someone turned tequila into diamonds?!?

One of the worst movies I have ever seen was Universal Soldier starring everyone’s favorite Belgian, Jean Claude Van Damme. I wanted to tear out my eyes and kung-fu kick them into space halfway through that movie so it came as a huge surprise that Universal Soldier 3 is not only in the works but is also bringing back the worst actor of all time. I think I am going to skip this one but if you do want to see a good movie with Jean Claude Van Damme in it then you have to see JCVD which is a fictional biography of the man, the legend, the…just watch the trailer. Read more »

Ok America. You got your way. Change is comin’!

You got yourselves a black president. He’ll help spawn a new generation of people who never did care now care and that’s a good thing. Will he save the country and feed everyone who follows him? Only time will tell as anything good takes time to develop and there’s alot of promises that need to be followed up on before any assessment can be made. But keep the hope alive Americans, the days of Bush are over and you can stop being globally hated for your cockiness and national hypocrisy with him gone. Enjoy the new age.

So yes, it’s a monumental day in history and not because Obama got elected. Check it out.

So in Warhamz land we’ve got a Halloween event that’s going on and I have to admit, the event itself has been a huge failure. On paper, great idea. The design however fails on implementation. Anytime you’re forcing people to interact with their enemies in a certain space shit is not going to work out and in this event it all culminates in an open world Realm versus Realm battle. So of course, no one can really finish it. Oh well, nice try Mythic. Next on the agenda is the Heavy Metal event which will coincide with the release of the 2 new classes which will also coincide with the release of the WoW expansion which will also coincide with me killing you in your sleep if you return to Azeroth you motherfuckers!!