Below are links to articles posted in Noob.

How To Kingpin Hard

Here’s a brand new documentary that tackles the terrible war on drugs by teaching you how to properly deal at each level of drug trafficking. That desk job is about to feel extra terrible on Monday after watching this. Grab the torrent.  

The Fuck You Footlong

If you’re at all like me you hate everything and everyone all the time. And sometimes you feel the need to step up your hatred with some solid anarchy. But what to do? Well, it really matters what you’re capable of. But lets start you out light with all you will require is $5 and […]


Everyone is playing Call of Duty Blackops right now. The poor PC players aren’t however, thanks to insane lag but the consolers are doing just fine. How long will this game last? Who knows, we already have a few people approaching their 5th prestige. But one thing we do know, we’re going to see a […]

How To Kiss

Swing and a miss!

A Customized Warrior

We’re a few days away from Medal of Honor coming out. A month after that, CoD: BlackOPS will be here! Here’s another multiplayer trailer for all the customization in the next Call of Duty.

Subtle Cruelty

This is just plain mean.

Fall of Fire

I have 2 words you nerds love to hear. MMO and FREE. Down at PAX this weekend they showed off some video of an up and coming game called FireFall. While it uses a TF2 cartoony style there is some darkness to the game and looks to be a mix of Tribes, Planetside and Starship […]

PAX: Poon Palace?

So is anyone headed down to PAX in Seattle this weekend? If so do I have an opportunity for you! That’s right playa playa, while you are dorking it out you can look smugly out on the sea of nose breathers and know that your geeky threesome is something none of these dorks will ever […]

An Urban Art Hero

Most of you noobs probably don’t even know who Banksy is. But his work has popped up in Africa.

Dream On

I was asked what about this rumored Ubisoft game is, since I used to be employed by them. I have no clue what it is but looking at the video it definitely looks fake. We haven’t seen any technology allowing games to be made to that level just yet and if there was I don’t […]

The Redneck Retard Rap

I used to enjoy Youtube but it’s turned into a giant karoake party. Fuck off.

Alien Swarm

What’s this, a free 4 player co-op game from Valve? Why yes, it is. Alien Swarm is out today on Steam.

Oldest Game on Earth

I’m not going to pretend I know anything about everything but being older and wiser than most of you I feel I can help you poor kids out in the one thing no one has really ever figured out, women. The first thing you need to know is that men and women are very similar […]

Crackdown Demo

The Crackdown 2 beta is out on XBox Live. This is the first demo that has achievements embedded, you can earn them and they then unlock when you play the full game. The demo itself has a 30 second timer but does let you level up and do some missions. You can watch this video […]

Grind Time

I know most of you are complete noobs and can’t remember back to the day when games were an actual challenge. That’s right, many moons ago games used to make it hard to actually progress and didn’t just hand over the princess to your 4 player co-op session for dying repeatedly. MMOs like Everquest used […]