Not that anyone would know because no one in their right mind watches SpikeTV but last night was the annual Video Game Awards. Sounds cool right? Well unfortunately, not. It’s too bad Spike jumped on the award process for video games because they are terrible at everything they do. Luckily I didn’t watch it but did see a few clips and between the body painting and trying to make game developers look like rockstars it was pretty much standard practice. As you can see from the list below, everyone you’d expect to win did win. No long shots or anything. With video games surpassing movies as far as annual revenue it’s only a matter of time before someone makes a real award show for video games and doesn’t just use it as a 2 hour promotional ad for all of Spike’s horrific programming. Also for Samuel L. Jackson, your career is safe. not even Snakes on a Plane could kill it. But keep this shit up and you’ll be giving blumpies for busfare to get home Sammy. I’ve added a bit of commentary to each award and what I think of it.
Game of the Year: BioShock
More like Most Overrated Game of the Year. Yes, it was good. But no multiplayer, bad final boss and really not that deep of an experience should of kept this off the podium.
Studio of the Year: Harmonix
I dunno, they hit it big with the first Guitar hero but every iteration of this game hasn’t added anything but new songs. Considering you can build your own sets to a song now, how much effort is really put into the sequels? Not enough to warrant studio of the year that’s for sure. What about Valve releasing 5 titles at the same time hmm?
Best Shooter: Call of Duty : 4 Modern Warfare
No argument here. Game is pure sex.
Best RPG: Mass Effect
How can you gauge an RPG that’s only been out a few weeks? I’ll bet money not one person on the VG Awards has finished it. But hey, it’s an RPG and it has commercials on our network!! Winnnnnnar!!
Best Military Game: Call of Duty : 4 Modern Warfare
Not really a lot of competition. Medal of Honour? Yeah right. Battlefield? Another EA failure. America’s Army? Hahaha. Quake Wars could of been considered, technically it’s military…right?
Best Individual Sports Game: skate
Oh wow, you beat Tiger Woods Golf. Big kudos to you. Skate is a decent game, came out at a bad time with so many other rape titles on the horizon. Keep Tony Hawk off the charts yo!
Best Handheld Game: The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
There’s only one handheld that should of won this but my penis wasn’t eligible. Handhelds are for virgins, why give them an award, let them rot in their parents basements with no award!
Best Graphics: Crysis
Yeah, Crysis looks good. For all 9 people out there that can play it.
Best Game Based on a Movie or TV Show: The Simpsons the Game
Actually a pretty decent game, with a lot of variety and annoyances. Again, not a ton of competition as every movie video game is ported to every console and format out there and they pretty much have to sacrifice every fun aspect to do so.
Best Rhythm Game: Rock Band
I haven’t played it but have heard it’s amazing. Blowing Guitar Hero out of the water is one thing, being backed by EA is another. I’m going to boycott this shit.
Best Driving Game: Dirt
Played it, dug it. It’s not on par with Forza 2 though so don’t know what these guys were smoking but let’s just be happy Need For Speed didn’t get it solely because of their aggressive marketing exploits like in past years.
Best Action Game: Super Mario Galaxy
I’d most likely agree with this if my pirated copy of Super Mario Galaxy would work!! Still, from all accounts this is the best Wii game in existence at the moment.
Best Team Sports Game: Madden NFL ‘08
You’re fucking kidding me. This franchise continues to suck and while ’08 was an improvement it was by no means stellar. What about NBA ’08, NHL 08? Sega and EA have stepped it up but Tiburon continues to have no competition at all (All Pro Football doesn’t count…in anything) and continues to not evolve. Howabout Favorite Game for Rappers instead?
Best Soundtrack: Guitar Hero 3
Oh yeah, great soundtrack! If you’re old and decrepid. Still waiting for Krump Hero so I can get mah krump on to some underground beats and bootytastic treats.
Breakthrough Technology: Half Life 2: The Orange Box
What’s the technology here, fitting 5 games on one disc or is it the Incredibles style animation of TF2? Either way feels like a gimme award so losing Game of the Year doesn’t sting too badly.
Best Xbox 360 Game: BioShock
No. Assassin’s Creed. Now that’s next gen!! Although I did enjoy the Big Daddy fights. And harvesting those li’l bitches like they were a candy bar. Mmmmm Li’l Sisters filled with caramel.
Best Wii Game: Super Mario Galaxy
Well duh. Cookin’ Mama a close 2nd??
Best PS3 Game: Ratchet and Clank: Tools of Destruction
This award can’t be disputed because no ones ever played a PS3 before.
Best PC Game: The Orange Box
Another oh hey, we didn’t forget about you guys and your million dollar advertising campaign with us!! Yay for you!! Oh wait, Best PC Game isn’t that like best selling Betamax cartridge?
Best Original Score: Bioshock
Disagree. Sure it was eerie but nothing memorable. You want best score? Go put Scene It in your 360 and leave it on for about 5-6 hours. It will induce a homicide, guaranteed. Now that’s powerful!
Best Multiplayer Game: Halo 3
No. Horrible. Biggest bust game. Call of Duty 4 multi makes Halo multi look like vomit. The only cool feature is the ability to edit an existing map and invite people in to fight on it. Oh, and the movie making is…decent.
Most Addictive Video Game fueled by Dew: Halo 3
If you drink Mountain Dew you deserve to play Halo. Fags.
Download Jahcoozi’s Get Yo Shit Out from Palms
Since todays focus has been TF2 why not see what else is going on out in the intarnets.
We predicted awhile ago that with Valve behind the wheel we wouldn’t be seeing any support for the clan community that has been bursting at the seams. We were right. While such competition needs like friendly fire and crits being able to be toggled have never officially materialized, the biggest problem for me has been the lack of official map releases. So we’re still keeping our fingers crossed we’ll see more from the big boys so this game won’t fall behind the bigger boys like Counterstrike and Call of Duty. What else is happening out in TF2land?
Valve did release something! Namely, all of the TF2 statistics. There’s some interesting tidbits in there. The death locational maps are interesting and show where the real hot spots are per map. Class use maps come as no surprise as no one likes playing the medic although I was surprised how high scouts are. I guess people enjoy being annoying.
The boys over at TeamfortressTV have a new site layout and have a new episode up covering the CEVO finals. They put so much work into their stuff, it’s too bad there isn’t enough high drama to cover. I’d like to see them expand out to provide more content but hey, content takes time and money. So no whining from the peanut gallery!
Lunk from Djedi posted up a link to some 3D graphic testing using Team Fortress 2. I don’t think TF2 is what you want to benchmark your next upgrade at as it’s pretty low end in comparison to games such as COD4 and Crysis. But, if TF2 is what you’re upgrading to play then this is a must to check out.
Mr. Grey, who made the Crit Rockets movie, stopped by our forums to spread the word. Check out his movie then head over to this thread to let him know what you think.
Finally, in the who gives a flying fuck category. Orange Box will be available for PS3 owners on December 11th. As someone who owns the Orange Box for the 360 let me just say, playing TF2 over console is beyond pointless. So don’t bother with this one and stick to all the other good PS3 games…oh wait. Nevermind.
What happens when the TF2 sound archive gets spliced to the Saving Private Ryan opening scene?
Hilarity: Read more »
While we’re not playing TF2 competitively at the moment, you’ll still be able to come by here to find lots of interesting Fortress shenanigans. Our pub servers are all still alive and well and just need warm bodies to rack up some stats so with the holidays approaching, get the fuck on the servers and get your frag on! While you’re bored at work today though, click the link below and vote for our site!
The holidays may be upon us, but be smart people.
Don’t hit this sauce.
[kmn] http://www.amazon.com/Cloverdale-Fresh-Whole-Rabbit/
[[Ht]Mad] kamen i want that for christmas
[[Ht]Mad] or any of the recommended items under it
[KIR|Cerberus] kinda makes you wonder WTF they are doing with the rabbit
There’s a bit of an argument if this video is fake or not. If it’s not fake, then this 9 year old scares the shit out of me. Keep him away from me!!! Read more »
For those who are fans of Will Ferrell, you’ll most likely be a bit dissapointed with his last few outings. Talladega Nights wasn’t very good and all his cameos have been a bit suspect, albeit at least humorous. So it comes as a bit of a surprise his up and coming flick has snuck under the radar a bit. So take a look at the trailer of Semi-Pro where Will plays a basketball player, coach and owner of an ABA franchise back in the 70’s. Read more »
It’s about fuckin’ time we saw some actual game footage of the next GTA installment. Unfortunately it’s a lot of scripted sequences that Rockstar is notorious for but at least it’s using all the in-game elements to show it. Looks impressive, can’t wait to drive a plane into some New York..err Liberty City buildings. Check it out: Read more »
Don’t worry, the embedded video won’t make you want to violently hurl although if you’ve encountered any of these idiots in a pub you may have felt that way. Thankfully most of these exploits have been fixed but no matter what they fix idiots will find other ways to annoy the shit out of us all. Rock on dumbasses: Read more »
Real Life Ravages Remarkable Run
It really sucks to wait for 10 years for a game. What sucks even more is when your team is all older and so ensconced in real life that video game competition isn’t really viable anymore. Well, that’s the case with Ht right now when it comes to TF2. Not being able to scrim nightly and stay on top of the other clans out there, Ht has decided to drop from competitive play for now.
We definitely enjoyed our run, with our one loss in matchplay coming in the CEVO Playoffs to a formidable Tap Dat Ass team. Even though the boredom of the same maps over and over and the dumbness of crits didn’t help our decision, it came down to just not having enough time to devote being top tier anymore. So we’ll be giving up our CEVO Season 1 spot and we’ll be giving up the #2 spot on the TWL ladder to whoever wants it. We’ll be keeping an eye on TF2 competition and see how long it lasts without Valve support but in the meantime, find us on our pubs or in Call of Duty 4 accidentally entering Prestige mode.
With last weeks football results all tabulated the Hostile FFL year is pretty much over. With 16 teams it’s a shame I forgot to change the rules to allow 8 teams in the Playoffs, but only 4 are in. So the match-ups ended up with the following:
(1) Bucky vs. (4) Braindead
(2) Valence vs. (3) Lox
There’s also a consolation playoff round that I managed to get in, but who cares about that. So make your predictions on the boards and remember, there’s only two spots left for next years Hostile Pool 2008, that features all 5 major leagues and is a pay 2 play league. If interested, find me.
