So I have a friend of a friend who’s brother works down in Hollywood and his girlfriends sister’s boyfriend knows Heath Ledger’s publicists daughter, so we were lucky enough to interview Heath just prior to his last day on earth. Be forewarned, this interview was conducted before his death and we didn’t know he was gonna go and off himself via over-the-counter drugs. R.I.P. Cowboy.

Mad: So, you’re Australian. How did you overcome this affliction?

Heath: Growing up in Perth wasn’t that bad. Sure the people are basically ugly little British wannabe’s that smell funny but it gives you the drive to strive to get out of there and be successful.

Mad: Really, I know an Australian and he has no drive whatsover. I also think he’s gay. As someone who has a portrayed a gay character, would you do him?

Heath: Actually, Brokeback Mountain wasn’t my first gay role. A small tv series called Sweat is where I first started polishing knobs for money…on screen of course.

Mad: What was your first role in acting?

Heath:Uhh…Peter Pan. When I was 10.

Mad: So you’ve been destined for gayness ever since. Does this ever depress you?

Heath: Well, yes it does sometimes. No one would love these insane christian fundamentalists stalking you like paparazzi, wishing you dead at every turn. It’s not very ‘christian’. Or smart, I’m not “really” gay.

Mad: Hah, you should kill yourself, that’d show them!!

Heath: Hmmm…interesting idea.

Mad: Well thanks for your time Heath, can’t wait to see your Joker smile in the new Dark Knight film. Let’s hope that stealing Jack Nicholson’s character doesn’t cause you any bodily harm.

Heath: Thanks Mad, your site rocks by the way. Go Ht!!