Grade A Jade

 I did a little interview (in my dreams) with Jade Raymond, the hotty producer of Assassin’s Creed over in Ubisoft.


 Mad: When’s Assassin’s Creed coming out?

Jade: November 13th. Duh.

Mad: Is it worth me rolling all my pennies to buy?

Jade: Yes. Duh.

Mad: Will I be able to rip off all my clothes and run through the streets buck naked ala Will Farrell in Old School?

Jade: Uhh…no.

Mad: Your game sucks then. That is the ultimate in crowd control.

Jade: Uhh…ok.

Mad: So really then, this overhyped piece of shit is just a Prince of Persia sequel disguised as a good game?

Jade: Those are your words, not mine.

Mad: So, a little birdy told me Assassin’s Creed to hand helds?

Jade: Hmm…maybe.

Mad: Don’t be so aloof. I’ll smack that smug look out of that pretty li’l head.

Jade: Fine. Yes.

Mad: What do you have to say to all the pre-pubescent boys who see you and froth at the bit like a pedophile at a playground?

Jade: Fuck off, I only attend carpet sales.

Mad: Is it true you are just a figurehead of beautality for Ubisoft and don’t actually do anything in the office but file your nails and flick your hair at all the pasty nerd programmers?

Jade: Beautality isn’t a word idiot. And yes.

Mad: If you could seduce one person in #Hostile who would it be and why?

Jade: Definitely Alc. 1st place in the EPL league just makes me soak my undies.

Mad: God I hate you.

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